So I have been told that I am totally oblivious to any male attention that might come my way. This, I guess, is because when you are in a happy marriage, you just aren’t looking for signs of interest, in any form.
Last Saturday night I worked a shift in my Sister-in-laws pub, behind the bar. It was very busy and I just went about my work in my usual manor, serving, chatting, cleaning…usual barmaidy type stuff.
The next day my Sis-in-law told me at least two men were chatting me up, the night before, and I had no idea!
I really need to rectify this if I ever want to get back on that saddle and get laid!
Yesterday I was waiting for my son to finish school, and seeing as though it was a beautiful day, I decided to take my lunch to the local park, sit under a tree and think about stuff.
I was literally there five minutes when a man approached me…and hit on me!! What the actual fuck!?
He wasn’t ugly, but he didn’t look like Michael Fassbender either and quite frankly, if he had looked like Michael Fassbender I would have jumped his bones, right there, in the park.
He informed me that he lived in the local area but was from Albania! Alfuckingbania!
He wouldn’t leave me alone….even when I continued to tweet to my Twitter folk, telling them about my Albanian stalker!
He said “you are so pretty, I won’t be able to stop thinking about you all day”
I replied ” well I am sorry about that”!
I think he got the hint then and slunk off with a wounded ego!
I never got this amount of attention when I was married…why now?!
It is like I have a flashing beacon on my head saying “Newly Single, Horny and Desperate”!!
So I thought I would go into a bit more detail about the pantless issue…
Why, I hear you ask…simple really, I bloody hate wearing pants!
I only wear them when I am having my “woman time” and then they are the comfortable, come up to my chin, granny knickers, that no one in their right mind, unless of course they have
a Granny fetish, would find attractive.
Being a curvy girl, with a larger than average arse, I find it very difficult to get pants that are comfortable yet pretty and that doesn’t show everyone what type you are wearing through the visable panty line..which is another pet hate of mine.
So to just make life simple, I take them out of the equation, and don’t wear them!
I am also hair free but that is a whole different story…..
So…ex-hubby is off gallivanting around looking at flats for himself to start his new, Angie free, life today…
Would it be wrong of me to hope he gets hit by a bus?
Or maybe he goes to view a flat that is inhabited by Hanibal Lector??
He set off this morning with a spring in his step, leaving me in the house, looking like I had slept in a hedge all night through lack of sleep…daydreaming about him being eaten by the worlds most famous cannibal…
Karma….that is what is keeping me going at the moment..that, and my kids.
I am a great believer in karma…
Well, two reasons really….
1. I generally don’t wear pants
2. I don’t have any firm future plans since my husband of fifteen years, partner of eighteen years, decided eight weeks ago that he didn’t, in fact, love me anymore, and left me with our two children, dog and cat……Wanker.
So….I thought it maybe a really good idea to record my feelings, thoughts, urges and general musings in a blog, so you can all wallow in self-pity with me.