It’s now three months since my husband and I split, and it has been very up and down, to say the least, in that time.
We are currently on really good terms, kinda like best mates in a way, which is good for the kids. For them to see their parents getting along, not arguing and generally agreeing on stuff, must make the transition for them much easier. And, for me, their happiness and security is the main priority.
There is a downside to this though, I have neglected myself, which, to be honest, I have been doing the whole 18 years me and him were together. But for these past three months, I have been constantly thinking about how this is affecting everyone else, apart from me, and this has kinda hit me like a brick today.
I am feeling many things, I actually didn’t realise a person could have this much going through their bodies without combusting.
Mainly, though, I am feeling utterly and desperately worthless.
I an worried that I will grow old by myself and never find happiness again. People tend to like my personality, but not the package it comes in, and unfortunately we live in a society that’s judges by the outside first.
So maybe my destiny is to be alone…and quite frankly, if that is the case, I am really not looking forward to my future.
I am just fed up with being me at the moment.