Hemmed In..

Tonight I just want to run away, miles and miles away. 

Living with my family is proving extremely difficult and to be honest, the way I am feeling right now, I’m not sure how long I can do it. 

I just need to get this all down…to unburden myself from all these thoughts and feelings going through my head as I can’t do it in front of my parents, they already worry enough about me, without me having a complete breakdown in front of them.

 My eldest brother, who I live with half of the week, is treating me like a child….makes me feel I can’t make decisions for myself, questions whether my 17 year old son and 13 year old daughter can be left alone in the house without me. I will just add, my kids are really well behaved and have given him no reason to think they can’t be left alone, without adult supervision. 

I feel claustrophobic, hemmed in…. I want to scream right now, and lock myself away and cry. I am trapped with nowhere to go.

Really think I’ve made the wrong decision coming here. 

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4 thoughts on “Hemmed In..

  1. Hi Anj. Not stalking you, I swear😜. These are normal feelings. Doesn’t mean they are less valid or distressing right now. Families are set when it comes to roles and it sounds like you are being forced to a role that is no longer where you fit.
    Best advice I can offer from someone who has been there:
    Be patient with them because they are not used to seeing you.
    Be kind, polite, but don’t accept abuse.
    Talk to your kids and explain that occasionally adults are insane.
    Get out as soon as you can, even if it’s not too far, but long enough to have your own space.
    Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Gisy, thank you. I know you are right in everything you say. The part about being forced into a role I now longer fit is spot on. I will talk to my kids about it…they already know my brother is neurotic!
      I need my own space desperately, just scared it will take longer than I hope.
      You are awesome…hugs 🤗

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  2. It’s natural to feel like a fish out of water following such a big move. In their own (albeit sometimes annoying!) way, I’m sure your family are concerned about you and the kids. Hence all the mollycoddling. It’s a big upheaval, so it’s going to take time to adjust for all concerned. Just bide your time and work towards getting your own place sorted, then I’m sure things will be a lot better. X

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    1. Thank you, I know they are just trying to help and are concerned, it’s just really hard, you know? Going from a life where I made the rules for my kids and made decisions for myself, to one where I have to run everything past them, is tough. I just hope things work out because at the moment, my ‘flight’ instinct has engaged! X

      Like

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