Was talking to my ex, Phil, the other day and am considering taking leaf out of his book in regards to dating.
Since we split he has had one serious girlfriend, which lasted a year before she cheated on him, and countless dates, and when I say countless, I mean that I have totally lost track of the amount of women he has met via various dating apps, some of which resulted in more than one date, others, didn’t even get to that stage.
Phil can’t be on his own. We have had this discussion, more than once, and I tell him that he should just enjoy being single, but, he is just unable to.
Even before I was with him he went from one girl to the next, without a gap inbetween, more often than not, an overlap.
He just can’t be on his own.
So when his first serious relationship since we split, ended…he downloaded about four dating apps, Tinder being one.
His phone never stops chiming…matched on this app, so and so has ‘liked’ you on the other one, it’s never ending. He seems to be a very popular guy, which, in the beginning made me jealous as hell. Hated that these women were liking him, but of course, this had nothing to do with me anymore.
My friend is on Match.com and she has had a few bad experiences with men. On guy actually went further than she gave permission for, and she hasn’t been on the site since.
You hear lots of stories from people on social media about dating sites and apps, not many of them are positive…
So weighing everything up I have always chose not to bother with them, erring on the side of caution.
People always judge on your photo, it’s human nature and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t done it too. But the thought of a stranger looking at my profile and discarding me because of the way I look just brings out all sorts of anxiety in me.
I was told last week, by a very dear friend, to not hold out hopes of a connection on Twitter, to “get myself out there and meet someone in real life” But here also lies a problem, I suffer with social anxiety, have no confidence or self esteem, so any opportunity that comes up to go down the pub, or to meet new people, I will find any excuse not to go.
I feel paranoid when I go out, think people are looking and judging me because I carry a few extra pounds..so this in turn causes all sorts of problems for me. So…I just don’t go…
So how will I meet someone in real life if I don’t put myself out there
Rock and a hard place.
So, do I carry on as I am or do I take a leaf out of Phil’s book and join a dating app and just take the knock backs and judgement on the chin?
I have no idea.