The Big 40

So with the dawning of 2017 brings with it something I have been dreading since, well, since I can remember….

I turn 40 

I can’t even begin to tell you how this makes me feel…scared, worried, sick and bloody old to name just a few.

When I was a teenager, 40 seemed really old….like, parent old. It didn’t even register with me that, one day, I would turn 40.

Now, here I am staring at it in the face and quite frankly, I don’t like it…I don’t like it one bit. 

I know, I know it’s just a number…life begins then, apparently! But to me it signals middle age, wrinkles, grey hair (already found some) stiff joints, saggy boobs, the inability to remember stuff…what was I saying again…oh yeah, saggy boobs and lack of libido. 

To be honest my boobs started sagging years ago and I already have a clicky jaw and gammy hip (form a queue guys 😉) So I’m just listing them for the sake of it…

People think I look younger than I am, so maybe I should just roll with it…not correct them when they guess, or just flat out lie about it. 

This is a huge year for me, what with the move to Scotland, divorce looming and turning 40, oh and my chuffing son turns 18 in April, so that makes me feel just awesome! Maybe the age thing isn’t as significant as I think…All the changes that are happening are the important issues. Everything that is happening is hopefully going to make my life better, make me happier, so who cares that I’m gonna be 40…maybe, I’ll just get myself a toyboy and make up for lost time….



6 thoughts on “The Big 40

  1. Well first off – Happy Birthday. It’s really not such a big deal – just another number. I always think it’s how you view the world that counts, my trick has always been to look at things the same ways as I did when I was a kid – and I don’t mean act childish, but explore and set yourself new things to do and learn. Go out and make new friends and maybe find that Toy Boy and have some fun. As always I wish you well.


    1. Thanks, my birthday isn’t till June, but as you can tell, I am already thinking about it. This is just the way my brain works – I know it’s just a number, but try as I might, I still worry. Just who I am.


  2. It’s a massive cliche to say that it’s “just a number” but it is. And there’s a lot to be said for advancing years. Let’s consider:

    You made it this far and you’re still not dead. You survived all your worst mistakes and shitty days. You know more now than you have ever known before. You’re one day closer to being free of your kids.

    All that you are and all that you have experienced cannot ever be taken away from you. With age comes wisdom which you can pass on to younger generations. Don’t worry about it, embrace it, because like a fine wine you get better with age.

    I’ll be following you into 40 and I’m really not all that arsed about it. In fact, turning 40 has simply given me the excuse to go about my business and enjoy myself to the absolute maximum possible.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You make some bloody good points there Al. I guess, for me I see my mortality fading with every passing year. It’s been heightened lately because I am in a situation (house etc) that I had no control over, so I suppose I’m just feeling unsettled and not ‘ready’ to be 40. Not sure if that makes sense…


  3. It makes sense. And I think the mortality thing is something that hits us all at some point. It’s a fact of life that you’re gonna die. And 40, well I suppose it’s a little bit like a half way point. I see death all the time. It’s a major part of my job. And I’m accustomed now to the fact that I will die at some point – hopefully many years in the future. And i think with that realisation comes an understanding of what’s important and what’s not. What people think of me isn’t important. If someone doesn’t like me, tough, it’s actually not my concern. I’m focused on enjoying myself now. You should focus on that too. And if that pisses people off, fuck ’em.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You speak a lot of sense, you always do. Not 100% sure what your job is, but it must be tough dealing with that on a daily basis, and yeah, I get that must put things into perspective for you.
    I do care what people think of me, frustrating I know. That’s most of my issue…something I need to work through and get over. Guess I just want to be liked…but, I know not everyone’s gonna like me.
    Need to focus on what’s important.


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