Well seeing as it’s Valentines Day I thought I’d write a bit about love.
It’s a funny old thing isn’t it? Doesn’t cost anything,but so hard to come by.
Looking back on my marriage I can honestly say I don’t think my ex loved me, well not in the way you’re ‘supposed’ to love your wife/husband. He cared about me, sure, he still does, but I never caught him just staring at me for no good reason, he never just spontaneously kissed me, or wrapped his arms around me for the sake of it. He said ‘I love you’ but now, they just seem like empty words, words that he felt he had to say, because I expected it.
He never loved me in the way I, everyone, deserves and that makes me resentful, makes me angry.
I look at couples in the streets, see how they behave towards each other,feel a pang of jealousy when they reach for eachother, or just simply hold hands – I want that.
I’m not so stupid as to realise, it’s not always like that, that arguments happen, that jealousy is bubbling away under the surface- who knows what actually happens behind closed doors.But if there is love there..real “I’d do anything to make you happy” love, then you can overcome anything.
Well, that’s what I believe. Maybe I am deluded, maybe life isn’t like that, but…I want to believe it is.
I want to believe there is someone out there for everyone.
I want to believe there is someone out there for me. Someone who will accept me, wobbles and all. Who will accept my flaws and love them just as much as my strengths. Who will look at me for no particular reason other than to look. To laugh, cry and share with me
To love me.