No Strings?

I have been offered some no strings sex. 

Now, some of you may not think this is a big deal, people go out and shack up with folk on a regular basis. Some people have ‘fuck buddies’; ring them up, ask if they’re up for it, and away they go. 

For others, a one night stand is a way of life, don’t form attachments; easier that way.

This has never been the case for me. Having only slept with one man my entire life, I associate sex with feelings; love.

The thought of sharing myself intimately with someone I barley know, brings out all kinds of anxiety and issues with me, let alone the whole ‘feelings’ thing. 

So, after talking to a male friend, he offered me some; no strings sex, a one off, no attachment formed union. 

He knows how I feel about sex, he also knows I have major hang ups about my body, that I have no confidence and am literally petrified about having sex with anyone, let alone him. But, he understands, he is my friend first and foremost and I trust him. Yet, I’m still scared. The offer is on the table, no strings, no pressure, I just need to think hard and decide whether this is the best way to get over these hang ups I have.

I feel, if I don’t do anything, just sit back and wait, then I’ll be waiting a long time, and life will be continually passing me by.

So, maybe this is the answer?

Life.

When you absolutely hate your life and have nowhere to turn, what do you do?

When you feel you have no one other than a blog to say this to, because no one is listening, what do you do?

Any ideas? 

Because I have none.

Maybe just a bad day, maybe just a bad week. 

Who knows. 

One thing I do know, If I could drive; had a car, I would be in it now, just driving, not knowing my destination, just driving, far away.